


Your Smile Drives Me Wild

by EverShadow



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-18
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-11-19 00:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/566943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverShadow/pseuds/EverShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't get hurt out there". Ali's mother has never cautioned her before, and she hopes those words aren't prophetic as she heads to camp.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Her mother told her “Don’t get hurt out there” and Ali blinked in surprise when she heard it. Her mother never said anything of the sort, no, “be safe”, no “take it easy”, not even a “be careful of strangers” when she was little. Her send offs had always been affectionate and caring, but never cautious. She more expected her mother to say “if you break a leg, you worked hard enough.” Jokingly, of course, but as they say in jokes lie truth. Her head whipped back.

“Mom?” Her mother’s statement made her uneasy, but her mother shrugged nonchalantly.

“I’m just saying, USA camp, some big girls there. Don’t get hurt before we get to see you on TV.” She relaxed a little and smiled.

“I won’t, mom.” She gave her mother one last hug before standing in line for airport security. Her mother stayed there, waving and shouting anything helpful tips she could think of until Ali walked through the metal detector, her belt accidentally setting it off. When Ali turned around after being patted down, her mother was gone.

~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~

Her hair was wild in the wind and her eyes darkened like the clouds looming behind her. She was a solid wall of muscle, punching the ball away more so than swatting. She took one hard hit to the face and shrugged it off, wiping the back of her gloved hand against her quickly reddening cheek. Her yellow jersey stood out against the swash of navy, white, and splashes of red running around the field.

This was the Ashlyn Harris that Ali Krieger met the first day she attended camp. Ali stood, green around the gills and awed by the intense pace of play. These, she thought to herself as she broke out of her stare and gazed across the field at the girls already cleated and running, were the best of the best. She shouldered her duffle bag, gripped her suitcase and approached one of the older coaches as he looked down the roster with intent. His head bobbed up and down, trying to pair names with faces.

“Excuse me, um, do we need to check in?” She asked tentatively.

“You need to be ready.” He replied sharply without even looking up. His curt tone caused Ali to sweat. Had she gotten the time wrong? The plan said 8:00, and it was 7:50 now. She stood there awkwardly, waiting for him to laugh it off as a joke but he never did. After a few seconds, he turned his head and finally looked at her.

“You’re...Alexandra?” His eyes flitted back to his clipboard.

“Ali.” She stuck out her hand and hoped he would shake it. Luckily, he tucked the clipboard under his arm and took her hand, giving it a firm up and down.

“Welcome to USA camp. Get yourself ready, Pia likes to start early.” Pia, the new head coach of the USA team, Ali clarified in her head. The assistant coach pointed to the tunnel that no doubt led into either some bizarre rookie initiation plot or, hopefully, the locker rooms. Ali liked to think that it was the latter and she shifted her duffle bag one more time before breaking into a half trot in. Nervousness hit her the minute she set her bag down and realized she was standing in the same locker room as some of the biggest names in US soccer history. She shook her head to get rid of her nerves but the fact that Abby Wambach was out there passing the ball back and forth, the possibility that she could wind up passing the ball to her, made it all sink in.

Stupid things started floating up to the top of her concerns. What if her practice clothes weren’t right? What if she looked stupid with her bright orange cleats? If she had taken a deep breath, she would’ve realized that she had played with most of the girls out there, that it was really no different from the U-19 and U-23 camps she had attended. But already the assistant coach had ruffled her confidence by proclaiming she was late, when she really wasn’t.

The sound of cleats clattering towards her at a high pace drew her attention away from lacing her own. The goalkeeper from before ran in, nearly slipping on the wet stone tiles as she entered. She caught herself just in time by throwing her hands out and grabbing the bench a hair’s width from where Ali sat.

“Whoa,” the goalkeeper said, as if shocked that she could lose her balance at all, “That would not have been fun to explain.” She grinned smugly, like she had made the game winning save. “Sorry for getting all up in your personal space like this.” Ali looked down. The girl’s hands were practically touching her thigh and she could feel the heat emanating from the girl’s wet skin. “What’s up? Name’s Ashlyn.” She stuck out a gloved hand for her to shake, then, noticing her mistake, took her right glove off and offered it again. Ali tucked her hair behind her ears, looking down at the ground and smiling shyly.

“Ali.”

“Cool. I feel like I’ve seen you before, what team do you play for?” Ashlyn’s grip was firm and sweaty and she held on longer than the assistant coach did. Her eyes locked on Ali’s but not in a way that made Ali feel threatened. Instead, she felt like the girl was affirming her presence at the camp.

“I played in Germany this past year, actually.” She said.

“Germany?!” Ashlyn walked over to her locker and grabbed a green water bottle. Her voice followed her to the sink where she turned the tap the highest it could go. She splashed water on her face and in her mouth, then proceeded to fill her water bottle “How was that, man?”

“It was awesome!” Ali replied enthusiastically. “I love it there, my German’s pretty bad, but it’s such a great place.” Ashlyn reappeared, her upper jersey dark with water and with stray strands of dark blond hair plastered to her soaking face.

“That sounds pretty awesome.” She said as she walked by. “Hey, sweet cleats by the way.”

~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~

She didn’t expect to make friends the first night. Some of the girls looked familiar, but being away in Germany made her realize that she never had the opportunity to play these girls on home turf and drink with them later. So she curled up next to a column in the dorm, unfolding the wrap to her lunch.

“Hey, Krieger!” She jumped when she heard her name and Ashlyn, with a partially wrapped sandwich in hand, sat down next to her. Grace she had not and she bumped her shoulder into Ali’s on her way to the floor.

“Sorry.” She muttered as she drew her knees up and rested her arms. The crinkling of the plastic filled the silence between them as Ali struggled with chewing hers. She wanted to say something, or at least swallow but her mouth had gone dry. Ashlyn, it appeared, had no problem doing both at once.

“You had some awesome shots out there.” She said, not even in between chews. “I would’ve hate to been in front of you.”

“Hope saved every one of them.” Ali lamented. Ashlyn laughed.

“Ok, you’ve been here, what, a day, and you expect to be better than Hope? What’s next? By tomorrow you want to head like Wambach?”

“That’d be nice.” Ashlyn laughed, sending a small spray of crumbs across the room and Ali wasn’t bothered at all.The blond goalkeeper’s unbridled, crude and overly familiar way made her feel a little better about everything. After Ashlyn’s coughing subsided, she sighed and looked over at Ali.

“Hey, you look familiar. Have we met before?” Ali looked down at the ground and tried to control showing her mirth, making sure not to show too much teeth, not to seem too eager. “Hey, you were at U-19s cap in 2003, weren’t you?” Ali could not bring herself to look at Ashlyn in the eye so she settled for staring at the sharp, strong line where her jaw curved up into her cheek.

“Yeah, I was there.” She struggled to remember if she had seen Ashlyn, but it has been so long ago that she could not recall.

“Yeah, yeah, I remember you!” Ashlyn pointed excitedly. “You took that really hard fall into the bleachers!” The minute “bleachers” was mentioned, Ali turned bright red and hid her face in her arms.

“Oh my god, I hope people don’t remember that still!” The two of them doubled over with laughter.

“Oh you bet people still remember that!” Ashlyn said. “But hey, it’s in a friendly way! It’s totally cool!” Ali groaned and let her head fall back against the pillar. Ashlyn took another bite of her sandwich and stared at Ali with a curious smile. Her eyes lingered on her face, especially her lips. Ali cleared her throat under her gaze and tucked her hair behind her ears.

“Why do you do that?” Ashlyn asked.

“Do what?”

“You have a pretty smile, I don’t understand why you don’t let it show.” Ali felt fresh blood reach her ears and her heart thudded against her chest. Ashlyn’s eyes never left her.

“Hey Ash, we’re going out, you coming?” A voice from the stairs called. Ashlyn looked away and responded,

“Yeah! I’ll be right there!” She turned back to Ali, whose hair had fallen in front of her face again. “You wanna come too?”

“I have to unpack. Came in on the early flight and didn’t really do anything except go to the field.” Ashlyn picked herself up and made a ten foot shot with her wrapper into the garbage can.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said before jogging after her friends. Ali turned her head and followed the plaid button down and faded jeans out the door. Her face felt sunburnt, and she took a deep breath to steady herself. It was only day one.


	2. Chapter 2

Ali hardly had time to rest over the next two days. It was as if Pia wanted to break down as many girls as possible. There was really no reason for the yo-yo test three times in a row except to exhaust the girls. It was day two, and Ali already wanted nothing more than to lay in bed and let her muscles wither away. She even looked forward to the ice baths to numb the pain. As soon as she settle down into the large square tub, the door flew open.

“Hey Kriegs.” Ashlyn swaggered in, still in her practice jersey, shorts and a towel slung over her shoulder. She dipped her feet into the ice bath naturally, only a faint shoulder shudder betraying what she really felt about the cold.

“Nice, huh?” She laughed and Ali, who was already submerged up to her thighs, could only manage a weak smile. “Jeeeesus. You know, it’s scientifically proven that ice baths do no better for you than a good steak.” Ali smiled through her clenched teeth.

“Maybe we should tell Pia that she should just buy us all steak after practice.” Ashlyn let out a forced, shuddering cackle and sunk the rest of her legs into the water. Her lips thinned and and her fists clenched

“Fuuuuuckkk...” She hissed as the icy cold water washed over her thighs. “How many minutes of this?”

“Seven.” Ali replied. She’d already been in for three minutes, and her legs had numbed.

“Fuuuckkk.” Ashlyn repeated. “Ok, ok, talk to me. What have you been up to? Tell me something, anything.” Her eyes closed and her face contorted in pain. Ali couldn’t help but giggle at her expression.

“Nothing exciting, I’m sorry.” She said, covering her mouth.

“Anything, please.” Ashlyn begged.

“I don’t know! It’s been like, two days. I’ve been at the hotel reading or something.” She replied with a shrug. Ashlyn balked at the statement.

“Ok, you need to come out with us, that’s completely unacceptable.” She replied. “Yeah, we’re here for practice, but what’s practice without some fun.” And she brought her hand down into the water, splashing ice and water everywhere. Ali shrieked and laughed and scrambled to the far side of the bath. Her legs kicked water back at Ashlyn who promptly shot out of the tub.

“Give up!” She grabbed a fistful of ice and attacked Ali, forcing it down the front of her sports bra. Ali tried her best to shove her away.

“What are you guys even doing?” Amy LePeilbet walked in, towel in hand and stared at the two of them play fighting.

“Nothing.” Ashlyn said, flicking more water at Ali. But she settled back down and Ali relaxed her guard, sinking back into the water.

“Well, get your flirt on somewhere else, I’m getting in.” Amy replied, dipping her toes into the water. She let out a sharp hiss before sinking her legs in. 

“We weren’t...” Ali began.

“Hey, there’s not a more romantic thing to do than freeze your tits off, no?” Ashlyn laughed at her own joke but she was the only one. Amy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Ali suddenly felt too warm for the ice bath and quickly checked the time to make sure she wasn’t going over. She was by thirty seconds and she hopped out.

“Leaving already?” Ashlyn asked, her eyes trailing after Ali as she quickly grabbed a towel and dried her lobster red legs.  
“Yeah.” Ali replied, not making eye contact. She felt a gentle tug in her chest but she ignored it as she quickly slipped back into her shorts and shirt. She heard Ashlyn say a disappointed goodbye, but she was out the door before her mind could formulate a response.

~**~

It was quiet in the sauna, and the atmosphere gave Ali time to think. The heat bore down, relaxing her previously frozen muscles. It wasn’t surprising to her when, a few minutes in, the door opened and Ashlyn walked in, towel flopping atop her head.

“Hey.” Ashlyn took a seat next to Ali, and Ali couldn’t help but scoot away. She meant to make room for the goalkeeper, but Ashlyn took it completely differently. “I’m sorry about...Amy, she’s just being stupid.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Ali tucked her hair behind her ears by habit.

“Look, just ignore her, ok? I’m also sorry if I did anything to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s not you. I was just surprised. I’ve never really had a girl flirt with me before, I mean, not that you were.” Ali rambled, trying not to make assumptions. Ashlyn let out a breathy laugh through her teeth. Her hands came together right under her chin.

“Oh, I was. I mean, who wouldn’t want to flirt with you? You’re beautiful.” Her eyes flicked up at her through her long eyelashes and she trained her gaze on Ali’s face. Ali glanced over at the thermometer in the room, thinking it had to be at least 100 degrees.

~**~

She lay in her bed staring up at the ceiling. It was unlike her to get so flustered so easily and she wracked her brain trying to think why. She largely suspected the reason, but damned if she wasn’t going to consider the alternatives first.

It was so stupid, really, they’d known each other for two whole days, not even full days given that most of their time was spent separated on the field for practice. But attraction had to start somewhere, and Ali’s started with Ashlyn’s cocky, yet genuine grin, the way her jaw tightened and her eyes darkened when she was so focused on the game that nothing would bring her out of it, and the thrum of her voice that made Ali’s skin tingle whenever she spoke.

“Fuck.” Ali whispered, rolling onto her side into a fetal position. She could deny it all she wanted, but she knew herself better than anyone. This was the beginning of a crush; a ‘get butterflies in stomach, want to spend every second with her, cuddle just for fun and hope to God it turns into something more’ crush. She let out a frustrated cry and pulled her pillow over to head, as if to block out those thoughts.

What she wanted and what she did were two completely different things. Every logical part of her mind screamed at her to ignore it, to concentrate on soccer, but when it came time for dinner, she found herself craning her neck to see if she could find Ashlyn in the camp dining area. When she couldn’t find any trace of the blond goalkeeper, she gathered up her courage and shuffled to Ashlyn’s room.  
Her knuckles rapped gently on the door and in the silence that followed, she listened for movement. She heard the bed creaking, and what sounded like cloth sliding against cloth. The door opened and Ashlyn stuck her head out.

“Hey.” Ali said, offering a shy smile. “I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner.” Her voice trailed off when she caught a glimpse of a blond she had never seen before sit up in a bed she could only assume was Ashlyn’s. Her shoulders were bare and only a blanket covered what was sure to be her naked body. Ashlyn’s hair was a mess, and her face was flushed.

“Yeah, uh, yeah, I’ll be down in a minute.” Ashlyn said quickly, casting a glance back to the girl in her bed. Ali’s mouth formed a response, but she could not find the air to support her words. Instead, she let her gaze fall to her feet. She smiled thinly and nodded. She turned on her heel, lingering only a moment when the door was fully closed. Inside, she heard giggling and the sound of someone jumping on the bed and all was quiet again except for the pounding in Ali’s ears.

“ _Don’t get hurt out there_.” Her mother had said. If the pang of jealousy in her chest was any indication, it was too late to heed her mother’s advice.


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey I missed you at dinner.” There was a certain casual tone to her statement that made Ali pause. For a moment, she thought maybe it had all been a bad dream, or a misunderstanding but when Ashlyn said next solidified just how real it was. “Look, sorry if you saw any of that. It was just some girl I met a bar, we were just talking...” Ali picked up her tray and shrugged as nonchalantly as she could manage. Her heart, on the other hand, pounded against her chest. She was sure that Ashlyn could hear it and could tell just how much it really hurt her.

“It’s none of my business, sorry I disturbed you like that.” She said as evenly as she could manage. Ashlyn cut her off, trying to meet her eyes but Ali just pushed past her.

“You just seem upset about it.”

“I’m not upset, just...surprised.” Ali sighed. Her head was starting to hurt and she just wanted to take some aspirin and be done with the whole conversation. “Look, I was just shocked, I didn’t realize that...that...” She wanted to finish with that you weren’t serious when you were flirting with me but it seemed too self-important.

“That I’m gay?” Ashlyn offered and Ali snorted when she heard it. It didn’t take a genius to figure that out. Ashlyn grinned sheepishly and Ali forced herself to look away. It was just so goddamn hard to be mad when she was so adorable at the same time. She was like a puppy who’d done something wrong, but just kept coming back with her big brown eyes asking for forgiveness without actually saying it.

“Look, I’m sorry again that you had to see that. It didn’t mean anything. Let me buy you a drink tonight to wipe that image out of your brain.” Ali decided it would take more than just a drink to cleanse her mind of what she saw, and definitely more than three to get rid of the ache in her chest. She turned it over in her mind while Ashlyn bobbed her head stupidly, waggling her eyebrows in an attempt to get her to laugh and say yes.

“We have practice all week.”

“So? You saying you can’t handle your liquor?” I can’t handle my liquor around you. Ali thought pointedly. “That’s ok, no shame being a light weight.” Ashlyn folded her arms, her one eyebrow quirked in a challenge. There was no backing down, not from that look. Ali jabbed her in the shoulder and smirked right back.

“I’ve been living in Germany, I’ll drink you under the table in five minutes.”

~**~

“FOUR. SHE’S AT FOUR.” Rapinoe pounded the table as Ali downed another pint of beer. Ashlyn looked like she was going to throw up at the fourth, but pride kept her going.

“What now?” Ali demanded as she slammed the empty glass down. She stared across the table where Ashlyn painfully tried to finish her fourth glass. She waited with a smile on her face.

“Can’t be the German!” Abby coaxed. She waited for Ashlyn to finish, a self-satisfied smile plastered across her face. Ashlyn glared at her, coughing and pounding her chest.

“You doing ok?” Ali goaded. The goalkeeper took in a deep breath and she motioned for Pinoe to come closer. She whispered something in her ear and Ali saw a flash of green exchange hands.

“CONSPIRACY!” Abby shouted, pointing at the two and the room erupted into roars. Ali put up a hand to silence them.

“It’s ok, let her do her worst. As long as you don’t physically interfere with my victory.”

“Relax, no physical contact needed.” Ashlyn matched. The room quieted as the two eyed each other. Ashlyn cracked her knuckles and took another deep breath. Her hand shot out and grabbed the remaining pint of beer and Ali took her as the same time. She was aware of Pinoe moving ever closer, but with half her glass done to Ashlyn’s ⅓, she was certain she was going to win no matter what the pixie haired girl was going to do. Pinoe leaned in close to Ali’s ear.

“Ashlyn says she wants to see you naked later.”

The spray of beer made Ashlyn blink several times but it did not deter her from winning. With Ali incapacitated, coughing like she was dying, Ashlyn had a smooth win. The entire bar was in an uproar, some cheering, some calling foul. Ashlyn brought her glass down on the table hard and stood up, arms outstretched in victory. She grabbed Pinoe in a bear hug while Ali, still choking, did her best to salvage her pride. Abby patted her back.

“That was totally cheating!” She insisted. Ali shook her head. Her own ego had lost her this battle and she knew it.

“No, no, she won.” Ali said, standing. When she steadied, she stuck out her hand for Ashlyn to shake. The two clapped hands and Ali congratulated her on her win. Little by little, the group dispersed, much to the relief of the bartender and the rest of the bar. Ali would’ve been lying if she said she wasn’t a little bit upset about losing, but everyone had a good time, and everyone knew she would’ve won under different circumstances.

She lost Ashlyn in the crowd when the group took to the dance floor. Ali had never really been comfortable on the dance floor, so she hung around by the bar, nursing her sixth beer of the evening. It wasn’t long, or maybe it was, Ali lost track of time in her mind, before she felt a set of warm hands encircle her waist.

“Hey.” She knew who it was before she looked.

“Hey yourself. You drunk already?” She looked into the half-lidded, hungry gaze of a certain blond goalkeeper.

“Hardly.” She replied, but her swaying said otherwise.

“Ash...”

“I told you before, right? You should smile more often. You’re beautiful, and your smile is beautiful.” Ali could feel her hot breath tickle her cheek.

“You’re drunk.” She whispered. Ashlyn’s hands remained on her hips and she swallowed hard and stared down at her arm. She was trapped between a warm body and the bar, and she glanced over at the dance floor to see if anyone would help her. But they were all preoccupied. 

“I’d be here sober too.” Ashlyn replied. Ali forced herself to make eye contact again. Ashlyn leaned in and all of the feelings Ali had tried to ignore for the past few hours came flooding back with a vengeance. Her heart felt like it was going to explode. But this was wrong. This wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want to be just another girl Ashlyn picked up at a bar. So when their lips brushed and every cell in Ali’s body screamed at her to just let it happen, her mind intervened.

“Ash.” The hesitance in her voice made Ashlyn stop and pull back. “Not here. Not now.” If her body could tear itself away from her brain, she was sure it would have. She expected Ashlyn to be deterred only temporarily, to maybe ask why, or press forward again. In truth, she would not have been able to resist it a second time.

“Fair enough.” Ashlyn said, backing away. She stuck her hands in her pockets and started walking away when Ali found courage and voice to chase her.

“Wait.” The word leapt from her mouth before she could find the nerve to stop it. Ashlyn turned around, perplexed. It was the booze talking, Ali was sure of it. “I said not here...” Ashlyn took a step toward her again and Ali made up her mind. She was done being shy, she was going to take this chance. If she was going to get hurt, she might as well go for the whole package. “But we can always head back to your room.” The goalkeeper’s laugh rumbled against Ali’s cheek.

“Fair enough.” She said. No one noticed the two exit the bar with Ashlyn’s arm around Ali’s waist.


	4. Chapter 4

It’s the snoring that woke Ali up in the morning. Like a chainsaw to a metal fence, it tore through her dreamless sleep and she opened her eyes to familiar ceilings, familiar beds…

Unfamiliar body next to her.

She shifted in her bed before the green suitcase resting on the dresser told her it wasn’t her room. The panic set in immediately after. Her head pounded when she sat up and Ashlyn’s snoring came in stutters when the bed creaked under them.

“Oh no.” She whispered, recalling the goings on of the previous night. It made her cringe when she remembered how clearly her inexperience showed against the cool skillfulness of Ashlyn’s every actions.

It made her shiver when she recalled the nervous smile on Ashlyn’s face just as she brought Ali to the brink of insanity. It was the unspoken, perhaps misinterpreted promise that this meant a fraction of what it meant to Ali, that her nervousness betrayed an affection deeper than a one-time thing.

Ali let the serenity of Ashlyn’s sleeping form take over where her mind had stopped working. Her hands shakily reached out for her face and when her fingertips brushed Ashlyn’s lips, they formed into a kiss that shocked Ali into a laugh. Ashlyn grumbled into a smile and her eyes opened and directly stared into Ali’s.

“Morning Princess.” Ashlyn said, turning onto her side. Ali curled into a ball and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Princess?”

“I mean after last night, ‘Princess’ seems about right, no?” Ali considered granting her mercy a second before she smacked Ashlyn across the face with a pillow. The two of them wrestled in bed, Ali gripping the pillow in one hand while Ashlyn pinned her down, laughing at the top of her lungs. For just a short time, Ali saw herself actually pursuing something with this blonde idiot.

Until she opened her mouth.

“Trust me, I’ve had plenty of girls try to pin me, ain’t gonna happen.” The light in the room dimmed, and Ali’s smile faded when she pictured other girls in her same position, bathing in the same radiant grin plastered on Ashlyn’s face. Her body sagged, and Ashlyn let go.

“Something wrong?” The light-heartedness of the experience turned sour in Ali’s mouth as she scrambled for clothes, desperate to leave with any little piece of her heart and pride in tact. Ashlyn placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...”

“It’s ok.” Ali offered a forced smile. “Look, we have practice anyway, we should probably get ready.” She found everything but a wayward sock and gave up on it when Ashlyn started protesting. Everything she said hit Ali’s ear and bounced away.

“See you later.”

 

~**~

 

“You kinda sucked out there.” Ali looked up from under her towel at a smirking Megan Rapinoe. Ali blinked in surprise and shook her head.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what it is, I’m just dealing with a lot of stuff, I shouldn’t have let it get to me...” Megan laughed and took a seat next to her.

“Relax, I’m just teasing. You had an off day, I get it, we all have those days.” Ali shook her head. “You ok?” She shrugged.

“Yeah, just a lot on my mind...”

“Like Harris?” Ali almost jumped when Megan said Ashlyn’s name. Her eyes widened and she turned to Megan with a terrified look. Megan put her hands up in defense. “Hey, hey, it’s just me. No one else knows.”

“Did she talk to you?” Ali asked.

“No, but it wasn’t too difficult to figure out when both of you disappeared from the bar last night.” Ali colored and looked back at the ground.

“Yeah.” Megan rested her elbows on the back of the bench and waited a minute for Ali to settle down before continuing.

“I get it. Ash likes her ladies.” Megan said. “And I’m sorry you had to get caught up in the crossfire.” Ali let out a deep sigh.

“I should’ve seen it coming.” Megan placed her hand on Ali’s back. “I just...” The thought seemed as silly coming as it did going. It was just the inbetween that caused the mess - that brief moment when she thought she was different.

“If it’s any consolation,” Megan started as the door opened and a group came in to use the showers. “Camp ends in two days. You just need to get through it.” _Two days..._ Ali thought with a start. _That’s all the time we have left? Has it really been that long...?_ She thought back to her mother waving her off, like it was just yesterday that she had warned Ali not to get hurt.

_Too late._

 

~**~

 

Ignoring Ashlyn turned out to be easier than she anticipated. She sat at her own table, away from Megan and Ashlyn. It was easy not to look her in the eye with Ali's back turned to her. The goalkeepers kept to themselves, doing their own drills and the rest of the team broke off into positional practices. Apart from the short scrimmage at the very end of practice, in which Ashlyn and Ali were thankfully assigned to opposing teams, they made about two seconds worth of eye contact throughout the whole day. Ashlyn wasn’t stupid either, she knew Ali was avoiding her and respected her space as much as she could.

She respected it all the way to the bar and back with yet another nameless blonde.

Ali saw the two of them headed back to Ashlyn’s room. Half of her wanted to walk away, to let Ashlyn live her life as she saw fit, to be another hookup in the back of her mind. The other half of her wanted to confront Ashlyn because she’s not just another hookup, she’s also a teammate. She opted to dive into the bathroom just as Ashlyn caught her eye. They held each other's gaze for a moment before the blonde giggled in her tipsy way and grabbed Ashlyn by the collar. They both disappeared into the room and the sound of the door shutting echoed in more than just the hallway.

Ali turned on the cold water in the sink and splashed her face over and over until she was sufficiently awake. Seeing Ashlyn with that girl felt like an added kick to the ribs.

"Don't get hurt." She said to herself sadly and then, "just one more day."

 

~*~

 

Ashlyn found her in the morning sitting eating breakfast where they had lunch the first day. When Ali spotted her, she stood up quickly and tucked her head down.

"I'm sorry." Ashlyn reached out and grabbed Ali's arm. "You weren't supposed to see that last night." All of the anger and disappointment burst through Ali's thin frame and she tore her arm out of Ashlyn's grasp.

"What? So you can feel better about me being a one night stand?"

"That's not it."

"Look, it's my fault. I developed a stupid crush on you and we're here for camp."

"Crush?" Ashlyn's hand fell limply by her side and Ali let out a defeated laugh when she realized how blind, or stupid, or dense Ashlyn was.

"It doesn't matter anyway." She started for the actual cafeteria where she could hide among her friends but Ashlyn's voice chased her and grabbed her firmly.

"Well...maybe I have a stupid, eighth grade crush on you too!" Ali planted her feet and reels around. Ashlyn had her hands in her pockets, blushing and looking more sorry by the second.

"What?"

"I like you, Ali. I'm just stupid about it." _An understatement_ , Ali thought bitterly. She placed her hands on her hips and waited. She waited for a minute of Ashlyn shifting from one foot to the other.

"I don't know what you want me to say." Ashlyn finally blurted.

"You could've just said that. Why else would I sleep with you?" Ali sighed.

"Just because you sleep with someone, doesn't mean you like them."

"You would know, wouldn't you?" Ali shot back and Ashlyn cringed.

"Low blow but OK." They stood at an impasse again and Ashlyn broke it this time by taking a step forward. "For what it's worth, if it is worth anything, we didn't do anything, that girl and I last night. I felt so bad about you that we just watched Hook the whole time she was there." This time Ali genuinely laughed at the image of Ashlyn curled up on the bed with her potential one night stand, sitting with enough room for Jesus between them, watching a kid's movie while Ashlyn moped. The tension dispersed with her laugh and Ashlyn’s lips turned up into a sheepish grin.

“Ladies! Stop flirting, it’s time for practice!” Megan called out and the two of them answered "coming!" at the same time, much to Megan's cheshire-cat-cackling pleasure.

"Talk more after?" Ashlyn asked as the crowd gathered in the lobby for the bus. Ali nodded a second before Abby noticed her and led her away.

 

~**~

 

“You could’ve just told me.” Ali said quietly as the two of them sat side by side looking at the waning sun over the field. Her chest still ached, but it was a different kind of hurt now. It felt good, in the way that there was not nearly enough time to get to know Ashlyn.

“Sorry.” Ashlyn had apologized nearly a dozen times over the course of the day.

“Look, it’s our last night here. Tomorrow I get on a plane and head back home...and I don’t...” Ali shook her head. “It’s just a crush.”

“A mutual crush.” Ashlyn corrected. Ali broke into a smile.

“A mutual crush.” Ashlyn reached over and grabbed her hand.

“I dunno. We’ll see each other again.” She reassured. “And if the crush is still mutual then, maybe we can see what happens.” Ashlyn winked.

“What happens at camp stays at camp?”

“Or not.” Ashlyn shrugged. “I don’t know.” Ali squeezed Ashlyn’s hand and found it comforting. It seemed so familiar already, and she couldn’t think of a better word to describe the girl who had made her feel at ease from day one.

“I’ll call you. Maybe come visit?” Ashlyn offered.

“Slow down there, U-Haul.” Ali joked, and her teeth flashed against the dying rays. Ashlyn’s breath caught in her throat and she stared at Ali until Ali blushed and had to break eye contact. “What?”

“Your smile.” Ashlyn replied. “I told you before.” She pulled lightly on Ali’s hand and she could feel Ashlyn’s words against her lips.

“You have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.”

 

_Fin_


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